Capturing the Reader

Capturing the Reader

According to Sumner and Miller, if a feature story doesn’t grab the reader’s attention and interest right away, it will likely remain forever unread. They tell us that an articles intro has four jobs to accomplish: attract attention, introduce the topic, set the tone, and establish a point of view or perspective. Have you ever thought about this as you write? The key here is that good writers are good organizers. They know how to structure a story and how to keep us “hooked” or reading.

The Lead

Good writers find the right way to begin a story. Think of it like playing golf: different situations call for different clubs. The right lead hooks the reader into the story. So, continuing with the golf metaphor, let’s talk about some of the clubs in our bag.

Let’s look at the opening graphs of the article, “Game of Her Life,” from ESPN Magazine, which I gave you to read for the profile assignment:

She flies to Siberia in late September with nine teammates, all in their 20s, much older than she is. When she won the match that put her on this plane she had no idea what it meant. Nobody had told her what was at stake, so she just played, like always. She had no idea that she’d qualified for the Olympiad; no idea what the Olympiad was. She had no idea that her win would send her to the city of Khanty-Mansisyk, in remote Russia; no idea where Russia was. When she learned all this, she has just one question: “Is it cold there?”

But here she is, journeying with her countrymen 27 hours across the globe. And though she has known many of them for a few years, they have no idea where she is from or where she aspires to go, because Phiona Mutesi is from a place where girls like her don’t talk about that.

What do you like about this lead? Does it make you want to read more? Why (or why not)?

We could argue that this lead reflect several different types of strategies suggested by Sumner and Miller.

In some ways, it is a scenario or narrative lead because it describes a moment in a larger chronology of events. In some ways it is a blind lead, because we are not completely sure we know what sport this young woman plays or much about this competition. The absence of complete info should peek our curiosity. And, you might even argue that it is an anecdote lead because it is using the story of this one young girl to describe the plight of others in a difficult part of the world.

Here’s another example:

Thirteen-year-old Kevin Cedano steps onto the stoop of the Ohio Hotel.

"Watch out for the doo-doo."

The words tumble out through the peach fuzz on Kevin's upper lip. They come with no hint of judgment, or pain. He might as well be warning you about a pothole or a low-lying tree branch, though the deposit has been left outside his home, and not by a dog but a woman in a blue cardigan who is now toddling off down Ceres Avenue in Los Angeles.

Kevin lives on skid row, where the streets, despite the recent efforts of the Los Angeles Police Department, remain littered with the detritus of failure and addiction and poverty -- half-eaten cans of baked beans; spilled suitcases; the occasional corpse.

This is a good example of how the anecdotal lead and the “nutgraf” work together.

Anecdotal leads are short narratives that use a particular individual’s experience to tell the story. In this case, we are introduced to a 13-year-old boy named Kevin. Notice how the writer uses the first three paragraphs to set a scene in which this young boy is at the center. The key comes in the fourth paragraph, which in this case is the “nutgraf.” This is a story about living in poverty and the consequent of drug addiction in Los Angeles and it is being told through the eyes and experiences of this young boy. When we read the fourth graph we have a better idea of what the story is about—it summarizes the theme or topic. A good anecdotal lead always arrives at the nutgraf. It must then move on.

Let’s go back to the “Game of Her Life” article.

Note what comes next:

Agape Church could collapse at any moment. It is a ramshackle structure that lists alarmingly to one side, held together by scrap wood, rope, a few nails and faith. It is rickety, like everything else around it. At the church on this Saturday morning in September are 37 children whose lives are equally fragile. They wander in to play a game none had heard of before they met Coach Robert, a game so foreign that there’s no word for it in Luganda, their native language.

Chess.

This is a nutgraf of sorts. We now know this is a story about young people who play chess to escape the challenges of their impoverished world. In the following paragraphs we learn that the story is set in Uganda.

This story follows a basic writing pattern that you should consider emulating for your profile piece.

·      We start with a lead that captures the readers’ attention (anecdotal and narrative elements)

·      We have a basic nutgraf that helps us understand what the story is going to be about. Think of it as the summary statement or thesis statement. Good writers can articulate in just a sentence or two what the story is about and why it is significant.

·      We are brought into the present—something that is happening now.

·      Back to the past—information that places the present in context.

·      Return to the present.

·      Discuss the future.

·      Bring the reader back to the opening scenario to tie the story together.

A few more thoughts on leads

Similar to the anecdotal lead is the scenario or narrative lead. Here’s an example:

They pulled the car to the side of the road, turned off the motor and waited silently as the memories washed over them in a series of gentle waves....
A narrative lead simply describes a scene and begins tell a story (that may include characters, but the story is not necessary about those character alone).

Other types of leads include the direct/indirect quote lead:

The trouble with writing at home, says author Janette Oke over the din of her dishwasher, is the ever-present lure of housework. It’s always there, tugging her away from her computer, beckoning her from her research and causing her to leave her characters fending for themselves, mid-plot, somewhere out on the Canadian prairie. “Once a housewife, always a housewife,” she adds with a shrug that lets you know she wouldn’t have it any other way, thank you.

This lead also includes elements of what might be called the direct-address lead because the writer shifts into the second person “you” toward the end of the paragraph.

Today’s Blog Assignment

Read “Capturing the Reader” and “Game of Her Life” (if you have not read it by now). You should be able to tell me something about the personality profile you plan to write. Please describe who this person is, why they are newsworthy, and the angle you plan to take on this story? How will you hook the reader? In your blog please write the lead and nutgraf for your story—and explain why you have chosen to do it this way. I want you guys to read each other’s blogs and be prepared to share your feelings and offer help to your classmates in class.